After Dawn 26th July, 2013

I whispered,

(after she gave her number: I typed in my number then, then deleted it....god! why so difficult to exchange?  f*** it,  07******,   did I really just do that?), and she really did.

OK, I really treasure what you did today. All the pressures are on me now. I am now shaking with my heart out of control.  Thinking....will I ever dare to dial that number, yet know that I will keep it very close to my heart carrying it with me always and all the time.  You knew how much I wanted to ask for it since we began to write to each other every day, after dusk, past midnight and after dawn. You knew how badly I wanted to have your voice resonate in my mind as well as your words dancing around it, and you knew I would never ever dare to ask for that illusive magic number!  Each and every word that you put together and send them to me, live their own life inside me and we always said this is something very special. The moment our voices blend with them, their lives will change forever; they won't be the words again; they will want to come and play out in the open.... and one day, I will dare to dial 0....7....8... my heart pounding and hammering, my body shaking and my tongue frozen, just managing to spell out .... H ..... i ...... t ..... h ...... i ....... s .......... and then wait for your voice to do the magic!

Who lives happier, the man or the fish? 
(one of many pictures she took and chose to send it to me)

She whispered back,

Reading can come across as words simply formed together, quickly, within a matter of seconds.  How you start with one letter and form a sentence and more but the reader does not know how long it takes to write one word, one sentence. They read at their own pace without much thought.  When I typed in my number it was like my hand froze with each number.  Determination ignored occurring thoughts such as: 

"Will he call?"

 or

 "will it change anything?"

 "what happens if the world we have created through words doesn't exist in our voices?"

I give you my number because I know you will keep it with you, even if you never actually call. You don't need to call, you know you have my number and the suspense must be thrilling? You could live your life with my number in your wallet and it would not matter if you never called, it makes it sound mysterious and a little bit… If you did call would I answer it instantly, like a "habit" or let it ring and just watch your name flash on my screen?

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